When “I Don’t Know How” Becomes “I Don’t Want To”

Strategic Incompetence in the Workplace

A reader recently asked me to explore weaponized incompetence. Also called “strategic incompetence,” it’s the workplace equivalent of that kid who never helped clean up after a group project because they “didn’t know how to use the dustpan.” Only now, that kid has grown up, landed a job, and still doesn’t know how to sweep up—except now it's spreadsheets, Google Docs, search engines or whatever tool makes modern work, well, work.

For the uninitiated, weaponized incompetence isn’t about legitimate skill gaps or learning curves. It’s when someone pretends they can’t do a task—or puts so little effort into learning it—that the job inevitably falls on someone else. (At home its the husband who “can’t cook” so he never has to make dinner, or the wife who “just couldn’t handle that big lawn mower, so…etc.). It’s the classic "Sorry, I'm just not good with tech" line as they hand you a simple data entry task that Google, YouTube or a five-minute tutorial could solve.

The Morale Killer

Let me paint you a picture. Imagine you’re working on a collaborative document in Google Docs. All you need from a colleague is a statistic they already have. Instead of opening the doc and typing in the figures—just like they would in Microsoft Word—they email you, “The stat is in the sheaf of documents I attached to this email.” Translation: I can’t be bothered; you do it.

Now, multiply that experience across teams, projects and departments. The result? Frustration, disengagement, and morale in freefall. Why? Because the people who step up and do the work start to feel less like teammates and more like babysitters.

Why Does It Happen?

Weaponized incompetence isn’t always malicious. Sometimes, it’s just human nature. People instinctively avoid tasks that feel hard or unfamiliar. Others see that dodging work actually works, and the behavior is rewarded with...less work. And let's be honest—technology evolves quickly, and some folks are genuinely intimidated by the onslaught of apps, platforms and buzzwords. But fear of tech is not a free pass to make someone else shoulder your workload.

Strategies for the “Incompetenced”

So, what can you do if you’re on the receiving end of this clever game of hot potato?

1. Push Back with Grace
   Next time someone says, “I don’t know how to find that in the document,” try: “I’m happy to walk you through it once, so you can do it yourself next time.” This approach is polite but firm, signaling that the task is theirs to own.

2. Document and Delegate
   If you find yourself constantly picking up the slack, keep track. Then, during team meetings or performance reviews, present the facts: “I’ve consistently taken on X task that isn’t in my scope, because Y struggles with it. Can we get some training or reassign responsibilities?”

3. Offer Training, Not Enablement
   “I’m not good at spreadsheets” sounds less convincing when there's a free, five-minute tutorial on every aspect of Excel. If someone claims incompetence, point them toward a resource and step back. No more hand-holding.

4. Use Humor to Defuse
   “I get it—Google Docs can feel like piloting a spaceship. But hey, you’ve got this. And if you don’t, Google it.” A little humor can make your point without sounding like a jerk.

For the Weaponized Incompetents: How to Stop

If you’ve been playing the “I don’t know how” card, here’s a reality check: It’s not cute. It’s not clever. And eventually, people will stop helping. So:

• Take Responsibility: You’re smart enough to get the job you have. You’re smart enough to figure out Google Docs.

• Ask for Help—Once: It’s okay to ask for guidance, but follow it up with effort.

• Leverage Resources: YouTube is a goldmine. So is Google. Or, heaven forbid, the help center for the actual tool you’re struggling with.

The Bottom Line

Weaponized incompetence is a productivity killer and can be a morale buster. Workplaces thrive when everyone pulls their weight—not when tasks are passed around like a game of hot potato. So, if you don’t know how to do something, no shame—just learn. And if you’re always cleaning up after others, it’s time to stop enabling and start empowering.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go help someone find a YouTube video on finding YouTube videos.