No Is a Complete Sentence
Why Pro Bono Doesn't Mean Free Rein
I love doing pro bono work. Especially when it's for a cause I believe in or people I genuinely like. That's what makes it worthwhile.
But there's a turning point, somewhere between goodwill and burnout, when your kindness is taken for granted.
Take today: I'd agreed to draft a press release over lunch for a nonprofit I used to partner with. They sent a Google Meet link for noon. I clicked in. Nobody there. A few minutes later, they emailed me saying, "We're waiting for you." I replied, "I'm here on the link you sent." They answered, perplexed: "Oh… not sure what happened…well, can we push it to tonight at 6:30?"
I sighed. "Sorry. No."
Then I laid out the reality: I'm heading out Monday for vacation. I can give you one 30‑minute window Monday morning to review the draft or add particulars. If I don't have your approval by noon, it waits a week. Not negotiable.
Blunt? Maybe. But crystal clear. Because my time matters, even when it's free.
Why Boundaries Aren't Just Nice to Have
Setting boundaries isn't mean. It's essential, all the more when volunteer work starts bleeding into your professional and personal life.
Studies of volunteers show that a mismatch between demands and personal bandwidth sharply increases burnout and turnover. The research is clear: volunteers who can't control their workload are far more likely to quit entirely.
Nedra Glover Tawwab, licensed social worker and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, puts it simply: "The things you complain about most often are indicators of where you need better boundaries." She also reminds us: "Boundaries to consider … I say no to things that rob me of valuable time."
And burnout? It isn't just fatigue; it steals motivation, clarity, even empathy. Tawwab notes, "Being overwhelmed and burnout are complete boundary issues."
How to Set Boundaries Without Burning Bridges
Here are professional, compassionate strategies that respect both your time and your goodwill:
Frame your availability up front "I'm supporting this pro bono, so my time is limited to X hours/week. After that, I'll need to pause."
Provide clear deadlines and consequences E.g., "I'll draft and send by Monday; if it's not approved by noon, we automatically push to next week."
Offer focused check‑ins—not open‑ended access E.g., "I'll block 30 minutes Monday morning for your review; that's the final round."
Use neutral, objective language Avoid blame or emotion. Focus on your rhythm: "My current position doesn't allow evening meetings, but I can squeeze in a morning slot."
Remind them compassionately when boundaries slip "Looks like we missed our slot again. Let's reconvene at the agreed-upon time or move ahead with the draft as-is."
These aren't ultimatums. They're guardrails that preserve your goodwill and your sanity.
Why This Matters For You and For Them
By setting boundaries, you preserve energy, model professionalism, and ironically deliver better results, because focused collaboration beats the friction that comes from being perpetually available.
When you respect your own time, you cue others to value it too. And when you avoid burnout, you maintain the quality that made them want to work with you in the first place.
Helping others is generous, but it isn't endless. Saying "no" or "not now" isn't mean. It's essential. It's professional. It's what keeps your work and your relationships strong.
And remember: "No" is a complete sentence.